Weight on my shoulders
Thoughts on my mind
Buzzing in my ears
voices saying the same negitive things
cutting no longer helps
The pains in my mind
not in my vains
so I scratch
and scratch
trying to transfer the pain
to the only place that still feels
so I scratch and scratch, grab and rub
Until it goes red sore and raw.
and I continue the process
Until the weight has been lifted
or just a little
maybe

If I should Wake Before I Die

If I should wake before I die.
I'd tell my mother not to cry.
I'd her she did nothing wrong
thank her for being there when I felt alone.

If I wake before I die.
I'd tell my father this is not goodbye.
Ad don't even think to cry, but wipe to tears from mothers eye.
I'd let him know that he was not only an amazing father but a loyal friend.
And that eventually you will see him again.

If I wake before I die.
I'd tell all my friends just to try.
Try to learn from my mistakes and be happy no matter what it takes.

If I rise before I fall.
I'd tell the world to stop it all.
The fighting, lying, cheating and war because no good is coming out of it at all

If I should wake before I die
I would just sit and wait
And as I wait I will be thinking --------------

Alice in wonderland

Trying to get out
out of mind
Out of sight
Out of the way...
But which way
Right way? Wrong way?
This way?That way?
Getting lost in the world
Not the World we know but, a world of my own.
Welcome Alice, to my Wonderland
The land of wonders, hopes, dreams and chaos
The land of confusion
With twists and turns
Bends and bridges
Mis-leading signs
No clock so no time
So out of time
Out of mind
But no oout hof the place called Wonderland

C's of Chaos

Creating Chaos
Childish Choices
Continuous Challenges
Constant Conflict
Controlling Craziness
Conquering Calculations
Calculatng Confusion
Choices
Changing Chores
Choosing Causes
Choose Carefully
Correctly
Constantly
Constant Caution
Creates Chaos

"M"

Mangles Minds
Mindless Moments
Monstrous Mistakes
Meaningless memories
Magnetic Maneuvers
Marriage
Many men Measure
Measure Manliness

There is a black hole in my heart called Mike.
A parasite living on lust
I listened to your every wish and dream
but that just wasn't enough

I cried
Not only because you broke me but because I gave you my heart.

I saw you wanted to comfort me, Tell me you cared
But I kept turning and walking away
letting you feel my pain.

I acted like you wherever you are were was a empty space.
But in the end you are there with your faulty flirting and deceitfulness.

You are a danger to all females that cross your path.
I have made a mistake that many will, but in the end I will have learned

Walls

The walls you put up are so thick, so strong
cemented
blocking the true you

The walls you have put up has destroyed us both.
you won't let me in and you cant get out.

What are you so afraid of...
That you feel the need to hide.

Is the truth so horrible?
Is it really that bad?

The walls you put up, must be knocked down, like a Berlin Wall.
But I have know idea how